There’s been a few times these past couple months where I’ve stopped posting so much on Instagram and YouTube because I’ve been getting very confused at my own self. Sometimes when you are a social media influencer, you wonder if your “friends” are truly your friends or if guys like you for you and not your “image.”
Luckily, I have the best of friends and the ones who are fake are weeded out immediately, because they usually can’t hang or stick around because their true colors show! Shoutout to my friends that have stayed by my side! Haha.
But men, on the other hand, are a whole different story. I confuse myself almost daily because every time you meet someone at the club, or a party, or a social setting, the question you get asked is, “What’s your IG?” I give it to them and that’s when they can/probably are judging you through your photos or the number of followers you have.
Being an influencer, youtuber, and model, it’s always been hard to find a man who understands fully who I am inside, my true self. The person I am entirely, is not really the person I show online. The person I show online is only a small portion of my life that I decide to share, things that I feel that I want everyone to know, and I think that’s when I almost confuse my own self and I drive myself nuts. I know my self-worth and who I am and what I’ve been through. But sometimes when I am in relationships, I feel that the men I interact with only know the “filtered” or “Internet” me and that’s when I feel that I don’t know my self-worth. I hope this isn’t confusing to you guys. This is when I feel like I have to act a certain way, or I don’t let them know who I truly am.
Anyways, I’ve been dealing with this a lot these past few days, I don’t know if it’s because I am starting to date someone but if you are an influencer and this is happening to you, what do you do to help yourself? If you have any advice, I would love your help! I just need to be stronger and realize that I am amazing! I hope this inspires you to know your self-worth and that each and every single one of you out there are amazing and beautiful. My journey now is to find a relationship that I feel comfortable showing my true self, and not the filtered version of me. #nofilter haha
Love you guys!